I don’t like it when people say addiction is a problem with distress intolerance. It seems patronizing. Anybody experiencing addiction has to tolerate quite a lot of discomfort just from the addiction itself. If comfort is the main motivator for a drink or drug, we are moving in the wrong direction.
While I know of no “1” cause for addiction, a large amount of people with drinking problems have had some kind of past trauma or unusual difficulty. Because of this, sometimes people need more comfort than others to go through the same life experiences later on. Rather than asking for help that may seem above and beyond what others need, turning to a non-person (drink/substance) to help tolerate emotions that many may not feel on such a regular basis, can leave one feeling just as independent as others. But we’re not. We’re dependent on alcohol.
Giving Others Too Much Power
Symptoms of giving others too much power include:
- Feeling needy
- Feeling unworthy or embarrassed of yourself
- Feeling insecure
- Losing a sense of who you are
- Not being able to stand up for what you believe in
How much discomfort are you willing to tolerate to stand up for your beliefs? This question is directly related to character. When you give others too much power, you lose part of yourself. This can create a lot of anxiety. The kind of anxiety that might make you want to drink.
If you give too much power to other people, speaking up about your discomfort can help. It’s uncomfortable. But you’re already experiencing a much deeper discomfort in addiction.
Moderating Addiction 
Love this. I’m just coming up on 3 years of sobriety from well…. Anything I could get my hands on and I absolutely love this blog post. Really well said. You hit the nail on the head!!
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Thank you so much, Vivienne. Three years is a nice chunk of time. I’m so flattered by your comment – thanks again.
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It’s an interesting idea that we can moderate addiction. I suppose following the ‘middle path’ is possible in anything, once we put our minds to it.
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I think it just depends on the person. It works for me, but at some point it may not work anymore. I think no matter what way addiction is handled, it’s important to have support.
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