Things That Make Moderation Difficult: Comparing Yourself to Others

Marking progress by comparing yourself to someone else is one of the worst actions you can take. And it is an action.

My sense of justice and fairness can make it difficult to drink less than the people around me. If I already drank yesterday, I can’t just have a few drinks with my friend the following day. Why? Because those are the limits I’ve set. They are My limits. Not my friend’s limits. And sometimes it kills me.

You May Compare Yourself to Others If…

• You’re a perfectionist
• You’re competitive
• You have a sense of justice and fairness and want everyone to be on the same page
• You don’t have a firm sense of self
• You don’t like yourself
• You think ‘going slow’ means you are slow
• You breathe

Ways to Combat Comparison

• Write out your drinking limits. These are Your guidelines to stick to and they are made specifically with you in mind.
• Keep track of your own progress. Write a log of how you’re doing that follows your mood, your drinking and specific small steps required to help fuel you through the process.
• Look at the progress you’ve made throughout your life. Pick a starting point and think about all the small steps it’s taken to get where you are.
• Have a diverse set of friends. It’s easier not to compare when you’re around different lifestyles.

It’s easy to feel lost if there’s not someone else to measure yourself against. When dealing with a drinking problem, other people can become an obsession. Other people may be able to drink more. Other people may have a bigger problem than you do.

A common problem of comparison: They’re doing better > I am disgusting and awful and out of control > I feel bad, but I’m repenting by feeling guilty > I am going to reward myself for feeling guilty by having a drink.

Moving slowly is best.